A bit of background on me and why I decided to create this blog with A…

I am a 47 year old man, father of one and divorced for around 6 years ago. For the most part, I have led a pretty adventurous life, when it comes to work, travel and an adventure-filled life. I was a former mountain bike racer, business owner of 3 companies, have traveled and worked in over 19 countries, ran or had been on boards of numerous professional organizations, etc. etc. etc. On the surface, I have led a pretty envious life to many, but in reality I always felt as if I was missing out on something.

I was married for 9 years to a fellow overachiever, alpha-female. Being somewhat alpha myself, this created a very tense and competitive environment during my marriage and birth of my son. Due to our constant power struggles, sex was often withheld as a form of punishment or it was engaged in the same way one remembers the need to rotate their tires on their car or change their oil. For 9 years of my marriage, I had a pretty lackluster sexily and felt envious of others that were making sex and their sex lives a priority.

Long story short, our marriage disintegrated rapidly, ultimately leading to divorce. While divorce with a child is probably the worst thing a parent can go through- aside from the death of a child, I end up doing much better than most who find themselves in this predicament. While I have little to nothing in common with my ex, we both get a long very well and work hard to be a good parent to our son.

This left me single at the tender age of 41. When I got over the pure disaster of the divorce, I sat down and created a blueprint for my second act in life. Aside from my desire to be a great parent to my son, I decided that I would make my sex life and all that had to offer a priority. I would no longer settle for anything other than a full and satisfying life of exploration and adventure. I would focus the weeks I had my son as being a great parent and the weeks I was free as free and open individual. In a perfect world, would find a partner who had a similar background and form a strong bond, being great parents the weeks we had our children and sexual pirates, setting sail for adventure the weeks we were child free.

Dating as a single dad is a mixed bag, but I felt I was pretty well disciplined in my dating life. I was adamant that I would not date childless women as I felt is would be very difficult for a single and free woman to understand  the overly complicated life of the divorced father. I would date someone around my age as I did not want to be the cliche middle-aged man chasing the nubile trophy. I was also adamant that I would be 100% open and honest about my goals and desires with dating. I wanted to push boundaries on my sex life, I wanted to seek and chase interesting opportunities and be firm in my desire to keep it interesting, exciting and fun. I had no plans on hiding my desires or leading some secret life that I shared with very few. I was not interested in a partner who did not look at their sex life as I was looking at it, no did I want to wade through someone who was inhibited or not wanting to charge life as aggressively as I wanted to.

2 years passed and I had mixed results with my new ethos. I had met a handful of nice women who I felt understood the rules and were eager to chase the same goals as I, but nobody really felt like a potential “partner in crime.”  Perhaps, the goals I had were too lofty? Perhaps what I wanted was the same fantasy that all men wanted, but most realized were unattainable? At any rate, I was starting to feel that perhaps I had shot too high and I might need to lower my expectations.

It was at that time that I met A. This meeting happened by pure chance and was in violation of some of my hard and fast rules. She was single and childless. She was 11 years my junior, she was fit and beautiful and way out of my league. What did she see in me? Why did she bother to even meet up? While she was constantly listed on my “people you may like” list and she and I exchanged “winks.” to each other, her desired mate was far from me. She was looking for a 6’+ guy (I am 5’10”). A man in his thirties (preferable), single and unencumbered. She was from Texas and was only here while finishing school. Ultimately she would like to meet a guy in Texas to be there for her when she returned.

I finally mustered up the courage to write her, telling her that I would like to meet, even if for a drink. While she was not at all a fit, I would hope, at minimum, I could enjoy her company for her last couple of months here in California.

To my surprise, she agreed to come out my way and meet me (we lived an hour a part from one another). When we met, I was floored by her beauty, her overall energy and her attitude. This was someone who I wished I could have met 10 years ago, long before I had children, and could be the guy she seemed to be looking for. We met at a brew pub near my home and shared a bottle of wine, swapping tales of our dating lives since our divorces (she had gotten divorced at a similar time). I instantly found myself dropping any time of game and feeling relaxed and comfortable with her. If she had any interest (I believed she had some), why was our timing so off? This is a woman I would want to spend a bit of time getting to know as I very much appreciated her honesty and candid stories about her life.

Like me, she came out of a marriage where the sexily started to wane. While she did not have children, she was very open and honest with her husband that she was bisexual and wanted to explore that side if her during her marriage. This was not well received as she said, “Not only did my husband have a hard time with my bisexuality, but most men I’ve dated have an issue with it.” Not only did I not understand that, I felt as if she must have been leaving something out as what man would be turned off by a women who liked to be with men but also had the need to be with women as well. Seemed like a perfect combination for me.

Within months, I found myself seeing her many times a week and felt that our “temporary fling” could turn into something more permanent. While she had a strong affinity for Texas and had a very strong network of family and friends there, she decided to stay in California with me to see what we could make of our connection.

Unlike myself, A had explored her sexuality much more than I. She had been with a handful of female lovers, played in swinger circles (as a unicorn) and, in a perfect world, would prefer to continue down that road with a suitable partner who had as much enthusiasm and desire as her. This realization was both a wonderful realization as well as being a bit intimidating as I felt as if I were starting a bit behind her.

As she was bisexual, I was very interested in the idea of us both playing with a woman together. I liked the idea of watching her with a woman and, even more, loved the idea of both of us pleasuring a woman together. We had also talked about the idea of us having a woman watch us have sex. This idea seemed interesting- especially the way we painted the fantasy when we talked. I had also floated the option of her playing alone with a woman of the urge were to present itself.

Now, I don’t want you to get the idea that this happened right out of the gate. We started talking about this on-and-off for over 2 years. We had done some fun things together in that time (went to a swingers club to observe and take it all in), went to a handful of strip bars together and put out a handful of online profiles on various sites seeking the elusive unicorn. We went into this knowing exactly what we were getting into and having understandings about limits.

I had no desire to play alone with a woman. I likes the idea of us being with a woman together. While I understood that she may have the desire to play alone, I would draw pleasure from hearing her tales and/or playing together.  We did not have an interest in “Full Swap” or her being with another man while I am with his partner. She was also not interested in having another man with me pleasure her, which I was good with as well (not a fantasy of mine). While we did enjoy some light BDSM, I was not interested in to cuckolding or any type of humiliation.

With ground rules set, we started to make a real push into this new progressive world. I felt as if were on the precipice of being successful with my original goals when I found myself divorced. 1) I was about to chase a handful of fantasies that I had not yet done before. 2) I had a partner who will willing and wanting to walk down this path with me 3) we had 2 weeks a month when we were childless to chase these fantasies and 4) Had created a handful of profiles on various swinger sites, craigslist and Adult Friend Finder.

All was coming up roses for me. How could things go wrong now?